I'm Leaking Water!

I am Larissa. Pansexual. I'm a bit kinky. I like to many things. I watch to many shows. I love to many movies.

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
  • mishasminions:

    sentimental-sanity:

    clonesbians:

    weloveshortvideos:

    Guy’s Review of Right Guard Deodorant Ends Unexpectedly

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    This is GOLD

    "JACK DON’T POST THIS VIDEO"

    Can I just…This is Tyler Posey humping a bed and dat booty

    SO GUYS YOU KNOW THESE GIFS

    ask-curtisrx:

    50shadesofcastiel:

    backwardsillistrator:

    im-not-even-gomen:

    50shadesofcastiel:

    image
    image

    AND HOW EVERYONE WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

    I FOUND THE VIDEO

    ABBY HOW DID U EVEN

    WHY IS THIS THE ONLY PART GIFFED??

    This got so many notes I cannot believe

    THAT WAS THE BEST GOD DAMN VIDEO I HAVE EVER SEEN HOLY SHIT

    dishai:

    a small collection of somewhat disturbing, but otherwise entertaining posts

    pardonmewhileipanic:

    i got to the last gif and felt a literal pain because i am in love

    i am getting such leo dicaprio smoking a cigarette on the titanic, rich, will-smack-your-ass and text you at 2am vibes ugh yes

    (Source: sizvideos)

    foodtrucker:

    i hate cute couples unless they’re 50% me

    (Source: foodtrucker)

    moonemojii:

    when u try to get someones attention but they ignore u
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    skimcheese:

    caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas:

    madeagoestohell:

    unexpected pregnancy is actually so weird like you can accidentally make a person 

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    I JUST SPAT OUT MY WATER

    (Source: emojigrl)

    lesbian-pixie:

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    "your wings are too big"

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